ever purposely acted silly in front of her son, dancing and singing, or did
something out of her element to demonstrate she is human and fallible.
To do so encourages our children to step out of their comfort zone and
enter unfamiliar territory. I wonder whether she played with her son and
his friends at a child’s level, not hesitating to bend on her knees and bray
like a donkey or become the frog prince. When our children see us come
down to their level, it equalizes the dynamic between us, allowing them
to connect to us in a playful, non-threatening manner. I wonder, too,
whether this mother ever allowed herself to trip, fall, break, bend, blotch,
splotch, cry, and froth in front of her son, within measure, instead of
trying to hide these aspects of her humanity. Did she ever demonstrate
that she was okay with her house not perfectly clean, her nails not
perfectly manicured, her makeup not perfectly in place? When we do so,
we show our children that “good enough” is absolutely good enough.
We do ourselves and our children a favor when we accept our
limitations and exude an “okayness” with being okay. In this way, our
children are encouraged to become comfortable with who they are, able
to see the humor and lightness in themselves, and thereby detach from
the impossible rigidity of their ego.THE EGO OF STATUS
Status is a huge issue for many parents. For instance, when a student
wasn’t accepted into any of the Ivy League schools to which he applied,
instead being accepted at the local state school, his parents experienced a
sense of overwhelming shame. In shock at the news, they had no idea how
they would tell their relatives and friends that their son would be