The Conscious Parent

because we refuse to accept life’s as is form. The reason for this is that
the ideal view of ourselves to which we are attached— our ego—is being
shaken, which is threatening to us. In this state, we bypass our ability to
be resourceful and creative in our response, reacting instead. The manner
in which this reaction manifests depends on our unique life scripts, roles,
and emotional inheritance.
Consciousness means being awake, truly awake, to everything we are
experiencing. It involves being able to respond to the reality in front of
us as it unfolds in the moment. This reality may not be what we tell
ourselves it ought to be, but it is what it is.
To be in a state of consciousness means we approach reality with the
realization that life just is. We make a conscious choice to flow with the
current, without any desire to control it or need for it to be any different
from what it is. We chant the mantra, “It is what it is.” This means we
parent our children as our children are, not as we might wish them to be.
It requires accepting our children in their as is form. I mentioned earlier
that when we refuse to accept our reality—be it our children for who
they are, or our circumstances—we imagine that if we are angry enough,
sad enough, happy enough, or domineering enough, things will somehow
change. The opposite is the case. Our inability to embrace our reality in
its as is form keeps us stuck. For this reason, not resistance but
acceptance of our reality is the first step to changing it.
Relinquishing control allows us to engage life from the standpoint of
seeking to learn. Indeed, to respond to life in its as is form is how our
greatest lessons are learned. The key is to start with what is, not what
isn’t. We respond to our children where they are, rather than pushing