Practice, Practice, Practice
Love and Logic ideas may seem overwhelming. There’s much to
remember: thinking words, separation of problems, choices, empathy
with the consequences. It’s enough to exasperate anyone unschooled in
the Love and Logic style — that is, were they to try to apply it all at once.
However, Love and Logic parenting is like dieting. Dieters do not say,
“I’m going to become thin today,” and, presto, become thin. Likewise,
parents don’t say, “These kids of mine are going to shape up for good
right now.” So if Love and Logic is brand-new to you, implement it a
little at a time. Pick one thing that bothers you about your child’s
behavior — one thing that you think you would have good success of
correcting with Love and Logic principles — and then work on it with
one principle you have learned from this book. But don’t do it right away.
Rehearse it first. Figure out how your child might react, and prepare
yourself to deal with that reaction. Once you’ve succeeded in one small
area, pick another area and work on it, then another, and so on.
The following five-point guideline will help you mentally rehearse
Love and Logic:
- Pick the situation and what you want the child to do.
- Picture yourself standing tall, looking directly into your child’s
eyes and having a perfect right to expect what you are about to
request. Check yourself in a mirror. - Imagine the sound of your voice.
- Try it out on friends and get their opinions.
- Rehearse this until you hear yourself saying, “Kid, make my day.
Let me strut my new stuff!”
The time to actually implement the strategy is when you have the time,
the energy, and enough backup support for your actions. Kids will test
you, they will get angry, they will try anything to make you revert to your
old ways — even to the point of saying, “Mom, I liked you better before
you read that dumb parenting book!” Once you encounter resistance,