the idea across that work is fun. Wise parents will say things like,
• “I sure like getting my jobs done around the house. It’s fun
for me!”
• “Wow, do I ever enjoy doing things with you!”
• “We sure have fun together!”As kids reach an age when they can be held responsible —
kindergarten or first grade — they should be given some very elementary
tasks around the house, like cleaning up messes they make, helping clean
their rooms, and making their beds (although not up to hospital
standards). By third grade and throughout the rest of grade school, they’re
ready to periodically wash dishes, vacuum the family room, sweep out
the garage, take out the trash, wipe out the refrigerator, and help clean
dirty windows and the car (inside and out).
However, there will be static. Kids have nimble minds. They will find
excuses for not doing their chores, or they’ll argue about who does what,
or they’ll complain about when they have to do them.
Love and Logic parents negotiate with their children on chores. They
tack a list of all chores onto a prominent place in the kitchen and then ask
their kids to read it and decide which chores they would most like to do.
A day or two later, the whole family sits down to divvy them up. Rather
than the parents deciding who does what, allow the kids themselves that
control. If the chores are distributed unfairly, for whatever reason, the
“unfaired upon” kid will quickly smell a con job and request
renegotiation.
Foster’s kids once sat down to divide up chores. What seemed to be a
very inequitable arrangement was agreed to between Jerry, age fifteen,
and Melinda, age eleven. The chores were: feeding the dog and doing
dishes. The dog food was in the basement, and because Melinda was
afraid of the dark, she opted for doing dishes every day instead of testing
the unseen terrors of the basement. It didn’t take long, however, for
Melinda to see the unfair division of labor — and to overcome her fear of
the dark. A renegotiation of jobs came about. Kids will work out chore