PEARL 11

Discipline 101

The key to effective discipline is to control only what we can control.

We can never make an infant stop crying, quit bothering us, stop sucking
his or her thumb, or cut the whining. What we can and should control,
though, is where he or she does all these things. If our children ignore our
firm “Please stop” once, with no pleading or whining on our part, then
they should be given the opportunity to act obnoxiously someplace else
— and that place is in their room. But remember, we are not sending
them there to punish them; we are merely giving them the opportunity to
pull themselves together. If they come out still angry and obnoxious, we
send them back to stay an added five minutes for every year of their age.
We should never forget to show love to our kids. When their good
mood returns, they need to be hugged and rocked for doing things right.
Also, keep in mind these three common mistakes that surface during
discipline sessions:

First,  we  can be  too tough.  Little  kids    are,    at  times,  no  fun.    Aren’t

we  all?    Remember,   everyone    has a   right   to  be  crabby  and moody   at

times   —   even    our kids.   For example,    if  we’ve   kept    our young   child

up  far past    the normal  bedtime and he  or  she is  a   total   grump   the

next     day,    is  it  fair    for     us  to  sentence    the     child   to  solitary

confinement?    Understanding   and common  sense   go  a   long    way in

parent-child    relationships.

Second, we  can be  too lenient,    putting up  with    too much    before  we

issue    the     “Go”    command.    Too     much    malarkey    stretches   our