Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

can’t change the behavior, change the location. Even with the youngest
of children, we can nip tacky table behavior in the bud. A one-year-old
who spits beets is given a choice: “Eat beets nicely in your chair, or play
on the floor.” Remember, we are not about punishment or making
children feel bad. We are about letting the child know, with love, that
when his behavior reaches a certain point (and that will differ with
differing parental expectations), the meal is over. If the child feels upset
about ending the meal, that’s perfectly okay. If the toddler thinks, Thank
goodness — I couldn’t stand another minute in that high chair, that’s
perfectly okay too!
With older kids, we can vary the technique, allowing them to eat
somewhere else — preferably somewhere unappealing — where they
can’t gross us out with their manners. When Foster’s wife, Hermie, was
confronted with poor table manners, she dispatched the offending party
with one sentence: “Take it to the dryer.” Their kids wouldn’t gross
anybody out but themselves while alone with their plates in the utility
room.