PEARL 16

Fears and Monsters

Sometimes they’re under the bed. Sometimes just outside the window.

Sometimes they lurk under rugs or in closets, ready to spring out in gory
horror the moment Mom leaves and extinguishes the last shaft of hallway
light. Unless you’re a Big Foot believer, you’ll agree that monsters lurk
in children’s heads, and there alone. Every kid, with his or her
imagination at full throttle, knows that night creatures don’t look like
your basic friendly puppy.
One seven-year-old girl, after being adopted, imagined that her new
parents only looked like humans but that at night their skin peeled off to
reveal their true selves as lizards. As silly as such fears seem to us as
adults, they are very real to our kids and may make some hesitate to crack
the sheets. But vivid imaginations aside, “monsters” should not keep kids
from going to bed.
We must explore children’s negative emotions (and their fears of going
to bed) in a factual, understanding way without becoming emotionally
involved. Simple, calm reassurance that the child is competent to handle
his or her own problem helps defuse the child’s worry. The situation is
not improved when we drop to our knees and personally check under the
bed for monsters. Kids are likely to be more afraid, thinking, Wow!
Maybe there are monsters. Otherwise, why would she be looking under
the bed?
We can, however, also take advantage of magical thinking. Little kids
really do believe in magic. Thus, it’s very reassuring for little Benjamin
to have a basic “monster-chasing” bear on his shelf. Sometimes only one