PEARL 21

Grades, Underachievement,

and Report Cards

“Hailey doesn’t understand math very well. We’re kind of worried. We

talked to her teacher. We spend hours on the problems every night, but
we still get Cs and even Ds. And on our first report card, we had a D+. I
don’t know how we’re going to get through the second grade.”
Hailey’s twin sister talking? Guess again. It’s Hailey’s mother.
This is the cardinal rule for grades and report cards: Parents don’t get
report cards — kids do. The children sit in class, the children receive the
instruction, the children do the work, and the children get the grade. For
parents to be effective in dealing with the report card issue, they must
keep the monkey on the kids’ backs. It is important that children know
that the report card is their business. As parents, we care. Our caring
might even shade into concern. But solving the problem? That’s our
children’s business.
Foster remembers vividly how his wise dad always kept the report card
problem as Foster’s responsibility. As a kid in elementary school, Foster
had a very difficult time getting started in school. One time he came
home with straight Ds. His dad looked over the report card, took out his
fat black fountain pen, and paused. “Son, are you proud of this?” he
asked.
Foster answered, “No, sir.”
“That’s good, son.” Then his father signed the report card. This ritual
occurred time and again. Thank goodness Foster never said he was proud
of the report card. He would have had tutoring, private schooling, and