math. Well, I suppose that could be better. Wow, a big B in social
studies! It’s important to know history and geography. How are you
going to handle the math?”We should always get involved in the areas in which our children
excel. If Marissa does well in science, we spend some time together at the
pond looking at critters through the microscope. If history turns Griffin’s
head, we explore books that present it in a colorful and interesting way.
When poor grades are discussed, talk in a nonemotional but caring
manner:
• “Do you have any plan for history?”
• “What are your thoughts about the math grade?”
• “Do you think the science grade will get better with time, or
will it probably continue to go downhill?”It is important that the questions do not take on a “witness stand”
approach.
In reality, poor grades are not the problem — the reason for the poor
grades is. Children get poor grades because of poor self-image,
rebelliousness to their parents’ value system, anxiety, depression,
learning problems, and a host of other reasons. Sometimes there is an
attitude problem. Some of these reasons may call for a different response.
It may be beneficial to have an outsider look at the child’s situation and
help the parents decide on an appropriate reaction.
Another way of handling this with children is in writing, especially if a
dialogue with them is bound to turn explosive. The following is a sample
letter a parent could write to the child as a way of responding effectively
to this kind of problem. The advantage of putting it in writing is that the
youngster has an opportunity to get the parents’ complete thoughts before
having the opportunity to argue or defend. It usually works best to give
the letter with a suggestion that the child think about it for a while before
responding.