Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

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PEARL 36


Spanking


“Daddy, why can’t we just have a spanking and get this over with?”


Six-year-old Olivia had just slipped quietly into the living room, where
Dad was reading his paper. She begged, “Our friends get to have
spankings, and then they get to play. If you give us a spanking, we’ll
never play in the street again. We’re tired of waiting for you to decide
what you’re going to do.”
Yeah, thought Dad. Spankings are a lot easier than having to wait and
think about what you’ve done wrong. They give kids a quick escape from
the responsibility of living with a bad choice. Instead of having to live
with consequences and think about solutions, youngsters have a brief
moment of pain, and then they’re off the hook.
The original edition of this book advocated the use of spanking in
limited, controlled situations. However, as we have grown in our
professions and as more valid research has become available, we have
changed our position.
There are many good reasons to avoid the use of spankings:


•           Empathy and logical consequences    are far more    powerful
than spanking because they teach problem-solving skills.
• Spanking fails to teach the behaviors we want kids to
emulate later in life.
• Most kids would rather receive a spanking than have to think
about their poor choice.
• More recent research tells us that spanking has many
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