Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

Now take it back to the box. Thank you. Oh, thank you for putting it back!
That makes Mommy so happy. What a good girl.” By approaching it this
way, Mom gives Sophie good feelings for making sure the earring is put
into the right place, not emotion because the earring was taken in the first
place.
Chronic stealing, however, can be a different story. A parent-child
control battle may be the cause, or the problem’s roots may run deeper.
Stealing almost always occurs when a child is feeling empty or unloved.
The child’s feeling of emptiness can come on suddenly, or it can be long
term. The child may steal in much the same way that people bite their
fingernails: by habit. Inside, these kids are saying, “I’m not getting my
fair share. I should have more.”
With chronic stealing it is important for us to get at the underlying
issue, whether it is the child’s poor self-concept or his or her feeling of
being “unfaired upon.” Talking with our children (when the problem is
not occurring), building their self-concept, and demonstrating our love
for them will help tremendously.
Stealing is a multifaceted problem that usually cannot be dealt with
directly, but children’s feelings of loss, emptiness, or being treated
unfairly can be addressed with understanding, touch, eye contact, hugs,
and the use of sensible consequences.