What works for one, won’t work for the other. Keri draws pictures for her
little daughter Bethany while they talk:
KERI: “Look, here’s the kitty going potty in the hole that she digs.
Look how happy the kitten is!”
BETHANY: “Is she happy?”
KERI: “Oh, she’s so happy she’s putting it there. All animals are
different. Now, here’s a doggie. He likes to go on a tree. Boy, is he
happy. You know what? I want to make myself happy, so I’m going
to go into the bathroom right now and put my pee-pee in the potty. I
feel so good when I do that!”
BETHANY: “Can I do it too?”
KERI: “Oh, that would be wonderful, but not until I get to do it
first.”With boys we can get right down to a little first-person modeling
action. Kevin plays “Sink the Bismarck” with his little son Alex:
KEVIN: “I take this toilet paper and I wad it up, Alex, and I throw it
in there, and you know what that is?”
ALEX: “No.”
KEVIN: “That’s a PT boat. And here’s another one, a battleship. Can
you guess what I’m going to do, Alex?”
ALEX: “No.”
KEVIN: “I’m going to sink them all. Watch!”
ALEX: “Can I do that too?”
KEVIN: “If you’re a good shot. But you have to be quick because
they sink by themselves pretty fast.”Some parents tape two lollipops to the bathroom door for post-duty
enjoyment — not as a bribe but because kids and parents feel so good
when they’re done that they feel they both deserve them. One tactic to
avoid, however, is the “You sit there until you go” routine. It can cause a
lot of hard feelings and is usually ineffective.