the family got into the car.
Two blocks from home, muffled sounds came drifting from
the backseat — the unmistakable sounds of shivering and teeth
chattering. My wife said, “Do I detect goose bumps in the
backseat?”
“Y-y-eah-h-h!” Andrew stuttered. The next words spoken
were some of the wisest ever to pass from Andrew’s lips: “N-n-
n-ext time, I’m g-g-g-oing to wear my c-c-c-oat!”
“Oh, honey, that sounds like a good idea.” (Our drive lasted
long enough for the message to sink in, but not so long that
Andrew turned blue.)
Had my wife said, “Wear your coat. It’s cold out,” Andrew
probably would have said, “No.” And she would have said,
‘‘I’m your mother, wear your coat.” Then Andrew would have
been sitting in the backseat, warm as toast, hating her, and not
learning a thing. He would have been thinking, Okay, I’ll wear
my coat, but only because you made me. Just wait until I’m old
enough to decide for myself about wearing a coat!
When little kids rebel, parents can quash the rebellion with a
stern order and get good short-term results. But when kids hit
adolescence and rebel, parental orders too often become
unenforceable. Allowing children at a young age to practice
decision making on simple issues teaches them to think and
control their own lives. Then when adolescence hits, they will
be less susceptible to peer pressure regarding alcohol, drugs,
sex, and other temptations. They will have learned they can
make their own wise decisions. Those kids can become their
parents’ very best friends during the tough teenage years. They
can also become their own best friend.Although kids are born with great courage to take control of their own
lives and make decisions, they have little experience on which to base
their decisions, so they often make poor choices. But they can learn from