the family. The parent should not, and need not, talk with
the child about the problem. If there is cleanup necessary
because of the misbehavior, the child can do it at this time.
When children misbehave, parents need something they can
do to respond, and the more consistent they are in the response,
the faster it ingrains itself in the child. That is why we have
created the “Uh-Oh” song. It gives parents one catchall
response to all attacks on their peace and allows them to
respond without anger or threats. Its tone should be devoid of
any sarcasm or impatience and almost sung when said to keep
any negative emotions out of it. It doesn’t take long for even a
toddler to get the message that when the “Uh-Oh” song is sung,
whatever behavior has just happened was not one Mommy or
Daddy approved of and that loving intervention is on its way.The Two Rules of Love and Logic
Over the years, we have used two principles to guide what we wanted
Love and Logic to be: the first was that it had to be as effective as
possible, and the second was that we wanted to keep it as simple as
possible so that parents could remember it even in the midst of highly
emotional times. Because of this, we have summarized the Love and
Logic method in two simple rules that will help you do all that we have
discussed so far:
Adults must set firm, loving limits using enforceable statements
without showing anger, lecturing, or using threats. The statements are
enforceable because they deal with how we will respond.
When a child causes a problem, the adult shows empathy through
sadness and sorrow and then lovingly hands the problem and its
consequences back to the child.
While the rest of this book is dedicated to giving you techniques, tools,
and pearls to help follow these two rules in a variety of situations, it is
crucial to first understand these two rules as the foundation for all that