gathering their things to leave for some shopping before the mall closes.
All except for Aidan. He’s blowing bubbles through his Coke straw, he’s
playing airplane with his French fries, and his teeth have no more than
nibbled the edges of his hamburger bun.
Mom, her face resembling a Technicolor explosion, says through
gritted teeth, “Hurry up with that thing! We’ve got shopping to do.”
Aidan responds by buzzing his hamburger with a fry. He’s heavy into
everything but eating. Now Dad jumps into the fray: “Can’t you do
something with that kid?” he asks his wife. “The stores will be closed by
the time we get out of here.” Mom grabs Aidan’s burger and tries to
guide it into the child’s face, but Aidan is not buying into the “Open the
hangar wide for the airplane” bit. His jaws clamp shut like a bear trap.
Next come the threats: “You hurry up with that thing, or you know
what’s going to happen to you? We’ll go shopping without you and leave
you here.” Aidan picks up his burger and holds it about two feet from his
face as if there is at least a mathematical possibility that he might comply
with the parental order.
Soon the corners of his mouth begin to tighten into a curt, self-satisfied
smile. When Dad sees it, he jumps out of the booth and yells, “Okay,
that’s it! We’re going shopping without you, and do you know what’s
going to happen to you, buddy? Cops are going to come get you!”
Aidan, no doubt, is thinking something like this: Look at me. I’m only
six years old, and I’ve totally controlled these two adults for twenty
minutes without even opening my mouth. What a power trip! I control
their tone of voice, the color of their faces, and whether or not they make
fools of themselves in public. The last thing on my mind is worrying about
being picked up by cops.
Who’s Controlling Whom?
Aidan’s parents blew it entirely in trying to make him eat his food. Aidan
had total control over what went down his food pipe. Had his parents
offered him choices instead of making demands — had they taken only as
much control as they absolutely needed — they would have been able to