90 The Explosive Childchild is not meeting your homework completion or teeth
brushing expectations or if these expectations heighten
the likelihood of explosions, you need a Plan.
Many people think the terminology “Plan A” refers to
the preferred plan. Not in this book. In this book Plan A
refers to handling a problem or unmet expectation
through the imposition of adult will. Plan C involves drop-
ping the expectation completely, at least for now. And Plan B
involves doing the name of the approach—Collaborative
Problem Solving—and engaging the child in a discussion
in which the problem or unmet expectation is resolved in a
mutually satisfactor y manner. If you intend to follow the
advice in this book, the Plans are your future. One of
them in particular. Let’s take a closer look.
PLAN AIf your child isn’t meeting a given expectation and you
respond by imposing your will—i.e., by saying things like
“No,” “You must,” or “You can’t”—you’re using Plan A. So
if your child says, “I’m too tired to do my homework to-
night,” a potential Plan A response would be, “But you
must.” If your child says, “I want to take a break from
brushing my teeth tonight,” a potential Plan A response
would be, “No.” Of course, “I’m not interested in dis-
cussing it,” “I didn’t say you had a choice,” “Get your butt