Plan B 91in gear,” and the threat or imposition of consequences
are Plan A responses as well.
Now, these might sound like perfectly ordinary, rea-
sonable responses, but only if you have a perfectly ordi-
nary, reasonable child. You don’t. In the case of explosive
kids, Plan A—imposing your will—greatly heightens the
likelihood of an explosion. Why? Because you’re throwing
Plan A at a kid who doesn’t have a Plan A brain. Let’s go
back to the description of an explosive outburst you read
in Chapter 2:
An explosive outburst—like other forms of
maladaptive behavior—occurs when the cognitive
demands being placed upon a person outstrip that
person’s capacity to respond adaptively.If you throw Plan A at a kid who doesn’t have a Plan A
brain, you’ve placed a cognitive demand upon him that
outstrips his capacity to respond adaptively. Kaboom.In-
deed, when we “rewind the tape” on the vast majority of
explosions in children, what do we find? An adult using
Plan A.
Why doesn’t your child have a Plan A brain? Pathways.
Is Plan A going to be an integral part of helping your
child overcome his learning disability in the domains of
flexibility and frustration tolerance? No, it’s not.
Can you maintain your status as an authority figure,