The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

114 The Explosive Child

that I thought I was supposed to be practicing

writing with you at home, too. But I haven’t

spoken to Mrs. Andrews lately, so, to tell you the

truth, I’m not exactly clear about what I’m

supposed to be doing at home.

Child: Why don’t you talk to Mrs. Andrews and ask her!

Adult: I’m starting to think that’s a very good idea.

Then you wouldn’t have to do writing you’re not

supposed to be doing—if that’s what she says—

and I’d know you were getting enough writing

practice. Does that solution work for you?

Child: Yes.

Adult: It works for me, too. Thanks for talking about

this with me, pal.

It’s true, Plan B isn’t usually this easy, especially early
on. For example, sometimes kids (and even adults) get
pretty heated up with Plan B. As noted above, sometimes
this is because history has taught them that disagree-
ments are always handled using Plan A. It may take a
while (and a lot of Plan B) for the child’s instantaneous
heated reaction to disagreements to subside. But let’s
take a look at what things might look like when there’s
added heat early in the Plan B process (and when a pre-
dictable problem that has yet to be solved is handled
emergently rather than proactively). Notice that the
steps are the same, but there’s just added heat. Stay the
course.