Plan B 121- Plan B consists of three steps: Empathy (plus Reas-
surance), Define the Problem, and the Invitation. If
you don’t do the three steps in order, you’re not do-
ing Plan B. If there aren’t two concerns on the table,
you’re not doing Plan B. And make sure there are
two concerns on the table instead of two solutions,
or the problem won’t get solved. - There are two forms of Plan B: Emergency B and
Proactive B. Calm, rational discussions are usually
tougher with Emergency B because of added heat;
Proactive B is more likely to lead to durable solutions. - Skillful execution of Plan B is hard, and it takes time
to get good at it. The more you practice, the easier
Plan B becomes. Plan B isn’t something you do two or
three times before returning to your old way of doing
things. It’s not a technique; it’s a way of life. - There are lots of things that can interfere with suc-
cessful execution of Plan B. So don’t get discouraged
if things don’t go swimmingly in the beginning. You
don’t fix a reading disability in a week. You don’t fix
this learning disability—or the habit of responding to
your child with Plan A—in a week, either.
Let’s finish this chapter with a few more examples of
Emergency Plan B before moving to a more advanced