Learning Curves 139“My concern? What do you mean, my concern?”
“Your concern—you know, whatever’s making you say
‘Over my dead body.’ ”
“I don’t like the tone he was using,” said the father.
“Does Kyle know that’s your concern?” the therapist
asked.
“I don’t know,” said the father. “Why?”
“Because if your concern isn’t on the table, or if it’s not
specific enough, Kyle will have no idea what problem you
guys are tr ying to solve—and neither will you.”
INVITATIONMany adults manage to get through the first two steps of
Plan B and therefore get two concerns on the table. But
then they dictate the solution and are faced with an ex-
plosion anyway. (In the words of the song, “So close...
so close and yet so far away.”) Sometimes this is because
the adults still can’t fathom that a child might be able to
come up with a realistic, doable, and mutually satisfac-
tory solution; but most often, it’s just a bad habit.
The mother of a nine-year-old boy named Chuck arrived at
the therapist’s office for an appointment one April day and
was extremely exasperated.