The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

Learning Curves 151

So what should I do if my child actually does explode?

If your child is exploding, it’s a pretty sure bet you’re
doing Plan A. Stop! If you’re lucky, your child is, at that mo-
ment, still capable of Plan B. If not, head for the Plan C
hills. If you end up using Plan C, does that mean your child
will learn that he need only to explode to get his way? Not
if you do Proactive Plan B at your next opportunity to solve
the problem that caused him to explode in the first place. If
you have to endure an explosion, don’t let it go to waste.
Explosions provide very important information about path-
ways or triggers you may have missed. But that’s the only
productive thing about explosions: They give you the infor-
mation you need to prevent another explosion over the
same issue.

I don’t have time to do Plan B. It takes too long.

You don’t have time not to do Plan B! Explosions always

take longer than Plan B. Unsolved problems always take

more time than solved problems. Doing something that

isn’t working always takes more time than doing something

that is working. And if you’re doing a lot of Proactive Plan

B—solving problems with durable solutions—then the

amount of time you’re spending doing Plan B should de-

crease as problems are solved.