The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

Learning Curves 169

plosive kids), and your child’s medicine (especially if it’s a

stimulant) is in full effect during school hours. But the

main advantage schools have is the embarrassment factor:

Your child is keeping himself very tightly wrapped at

school because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. Then

he gets home and unravels because he’s put so much en-

ergy into staying tightly wrapped at school. See, he can’t

keep himself tightly wrapped twenty-four hours a day.

Homes aren’t as structured and predictable as most

schools, and homes don’t have the embarrassment factor.

My child is exploding at school, and I don’t think the

teachers have heard of this model. Advice?

Sounds like your child is blowing through the embar-
rassment factor. Schools (not all but most) tend to be bas-
tions of Plan A. You’ll have to make sure they get exposed
to this model. More in Chapter 11.

There are many problems that haven’t been mentioned

yet—like lying, stealing, drug use, sex—how would

those problems be handled using Plan B?

The steps are the same, and the Empathy step may be
the hardest. Just remember, some difficult issues require
more than one Plan B conversation. Sometimes the solution
that ends up solving the problem durably isn’t arrived at
until after a few solutions to the problem have been tried.