172 The Explosive ChildAdult: So we both have something to work on,
don’t we?
Child: Yup.
Adult: What should we do if I slip up and get mad?
Child: I could remind you of your promise.
Adult: That would be very helpful. What should I do if
you slip up and tell me a lie?
Child: You could remind me of my promise.
Adult: I think we’ve got a plan. Let’s see how it works.
If it doesn’t work too well, we’ll talk again and see
if we can figure out what to do instead.
Child: OK.What if you thought that your adolescent daughter
was having unprotected sex with her boyfriend and you
had some concerns about that? With Plan A you’re start-
ing the conversation by saying “You must not have sex
with your boyfriend,” in which case the conversation
wouldn’t take place because you ended the discussion
before it even got started. With Plan C you’re not having
the conversation because you’re not raising the topic.
And here’s what it looks like with Plan B:
Parent: Can we talk about something?
Daughter: Like what?
Parent: Like you and Kenny.
Daughter: Oh, no, here we go again.