188 The Explosive ChildWhich of those outcomes do you think would work the
best?”) If a child is having difficulty thinking about
whether solutions address both concerns, adults can re-
spond as follows: “Miguel, I know that solution would
make you happy, but it wouldn’t make me very happy.
Let’s try to think of a solution that would make both of
us happy.” If the child can’t think of a mutually satisfac-
tory solution, the surrogate frontal lobe is there to help.
After multiple repetitions the child should be better
able to independently generate solutions that are mutu-
ally satisfactory.
TRAINING OTHER SKILLS WITH PLAN B
Language Processing SkillsSome of the skills discussed above can emanate from
difficulties in language processing. But, as you read in
Chapter 3, there are a few other language processing skills
worth thinking about as they relate to your child’s ability to
deal effectively with frustration. Some children, for exam-
ple, have trouble expressing the fact that they’re frustrated.
In other words, they lack a basic vocabulary of feeling
words, so they don’t have the words to tell you that they’re
frustrated. Instead, they swear or hit or destroy things.
So if a child is lacking a basic vocabulary of feeling