190 The Explosive Childlary by discussing the past day’s events with her parents
at bedtime. The parents would ask her what happened
during the day that made her happy, whether anything
made her sad, and whether anything caused her to feel
frustrated. If Helen couldn’t remember specific events
that fit one of these three categories, her parents would
suggest some possibilities. If Helen had difficulty labeling
the emotions that were associated with a particular
event, her parents would help her. The parents made
sure Helen’s teacher was also aware of her new vocabu-
lary so that Helen didn’t become confused by different
terminology. When Helen became frustrated and ex-
pressed her frustration inappropriately (“No! I can’t do
that right now!” “Leave me alone!” “Screw you!” or worse),
her parents and teacher would calmly remind her of her
new vocabulary (“Boy, you sure sound frustrated!”). Over
the course of several months Helen began to express her
emotions in a much more appropriate manner across an
increased number and range of situations. And her vocab-
ulary of emotions slowly became broader and more so-
phisticated and eventually included such terms as confused,
disappointed, excited, bored, and annoyed.
Don’t forget: Just as a child with a reading disability
won’t begin reading overnight, a child (explosive or not)
who has difficulty recognizing, expressing, or describing
frustration won’t begin using his new vocabulary over-
night. There’s no quick fix. But this isn’t rocket science,