204 The Explosive ChildJen: She didn’t say that.
Parent: No... but I could tell because her face
didn’t look very happy.
Jen: Oh.
Parent: You like when Susie comes over to our
house, yes?
Jen: Uh-huh.
Parent: Yeah, me too. I’m just a little worried that if
she doesn’t have a good time she might not want
to come over anymore. Yes?
Jen: Yeah.
Parent: So what do you think we should do?
Jen: I could try harder to share with her.
Parent: Yes, you could. That would be great. And I
wonder if maybe I could help you notice if
Susie’s not having such a good time next time
she comes over. Just in case you don’t notice.
What do you think?
Jen: OK.Proactive B discussions often take much longer than
those depicted above, especially on complicated issues
like sharing and appreciating how one’s behavior is af-
fecting others. And as you now know, the first solution
often doesn’t get the job done. But at least the concerns
are on the table and the ball is now rolling.