228 The Explosive Childto turn around. Many such children ultimately need treat-
ment that is more intensive than the kind that can be pro-
vided on an outpatient basis or in a regular education setting.
One way to give them this new start is by placing them in a
therapeutic facility. As horrible as that may sound, there are
some outstanding residential facilities in the United States
that do an exceptional job of working with such children.
The better residential facilities have excellent academic
programs, so a child’s chance of being accepted to college
isn’t sacrificed. Although many of these facilities have a be-
havior management component for maintaining order, the
better ones also have a strong therapeutic component
through which many of the thinking and communicating
skills described in the preceding chapters can be developed.
Many of them also have a family therapy component (re-
member, the goal is for the child to return to his own home
and community). Residential programs whose primary
agents of change are large human beings who make sure
your child knows who’s boss should be avoided.
The prospect of placing one’s child in a residential facility
can feel like a nightmare to many parents, although parents
who have been living a constant nightmare at home are often
more open to the idea. Our instincts are to keep our families
together, even when they’re being torn apart. Our instincts
are to keep our children under our supervision, even when
our supervision is no longer sufficient. We don’t like to feel
that we’re throwing in the towel, even when all the evidence