Index 293philosophy, and Plan B in school, 249–50
phrases, and identifying and articulating
concerns, 183
Plan A
ambiguity, 166
approval/disapproval of explosive
behavior, 145
communication patterns in families, 217
concerns, 109–10
cotton candy problem, 125
defining the problem, 104
delayed responses, 163–64
dependency, 147
difficult issues, 172
difficulties between parents, 219
diminishing of importance of, 158
disciplinary practices, 168, 247
doing homework on register problem,
126
Emergency Plan B, 122–23
explosions at school, 169
factors that cause Plan B to go astray,
121, 132–135, 138
husbands as not doing Plan B, 154–55
invitation, 107, 109, 120
language processing skills, 191–92
misconceptions about, 117–19
as option, 89–92, 272
overview of, 90–92, 272
Plan C, 93
prior experience, 114, 154–55
progress using Plan B, 158
ranking of plans, 117–19
real world, 146–47
safety issues, 147–50
in school, 169, 247, 253, 256–57, 267
setting limits in, 109, 120, 145
“splitting” of parents, 157
steps in Plan B, 102, 107, 109, 120
summary about, 120–21
what to do during explosion, 151
Plan B
as approval of explosive behavior,
145–46
attempt to clarify, 113
as basket, 89
benefits of, 158
case studies using, 122–29
child won’t do, 155
CPS as, 86–90
defining the problem as step in, 98,
104–6, 111–13, 121, 197–98
empathy as step in, 98–103, 105–106,
110–14, 121, 197
expectations of progress from, 158–59
factors interfering with successful
execution of, 121, 132–42, 155, 205
husbands as not doing, 154–55
invitation as step in, 98, 106–22, 198
lack of skills for participating in, 142,
155
as last resort, 132
losing faith in, 187
as magic, 119
as means for learning problem-solving
skills, 146
misconceptions about, 117–19
missing steps in, 133–34
as not being very good at, 133
not caring about concerns, 155–56
Plan A, 102
practicing, 121
progress using, 177–78
questions about, 142–76
ranking of plans, 117–19
reassurance, 98, 112–113, 115, 121
in school, 249–70, 273
setting limits, 109–10, 120
skills necessary for child to participate
in, 178–88
solutions, 106–22^
steps for doing, 98–117, 196–98, 251,
275
summary about, 120–21
taking a break from, 119
as taking too long, 151
teaching of essential skills through,
209