20 The Explosive Childauthor of Emotional Intelligence, referred to explosions as
a “neural hijacking.” It’s pretty clear that when a child is
in the midst of an explosion, there’s “nobody home.” Our
goals, of course, are to make sure that your child’s brain
doesn’t get locked up or his neurons hijacked; to help
him think more clearly and efficiently in the midst of
frustration; and to make sure there’s somebody at home.
You’ve just been given a lot of new ideas to digest. Here’s
a quick summary of the main points:
- Flexibility and frustration tolerance are critical devel-
opmental skills that some children fail to develop at
an age-appropriate pace. Inadequate development of
these skills can contribute to a variety of behaviors—
sudden outbursts, explosions, and physical and verbal
aggression, often in response to what might seem the
most benign or trivial of circumstances—that have a
traumatic, adverse impact on these children’s interac-
tions and relationships with parents, teachers, sib-
lings, and peers. - How you explain your child’s explosive behavior and
the language you use to describe it will directly influ-
ence the strategies you use to help your child change
this behavior.