The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

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Pathways and Triggers 31

and think rationally in the midst of frustration. Quite
the opposite, in fact. So we often tell explosive children
and their parents and teachers that there are only two
goals: Goal number two: Think clearly in the midst of frus-
tration. Goal number one: Stay calm enough to achieve
goal number two.

LANGUAGE PROCESSING SKILLS

How might lagging language processing skills set the
stage for a child to have a learning disability in the do-
mains of flexibility and frustration tolerance? Most of
the thinking and communicating we humans do in-
volves language. Indeed, language is what separates hu-
mans from other species. For example, dogs don’t have
language. So if you were to step on a dog’s tail, he’d
have only three options: bark at you, bite you, or run
away. But if you step on the metaphoric tail of a lin-
guistically compromised human being, he’d have only
the same three options: bark at you, bite you, or run
away. From this perspective, swearing can be thought of
as nothing more or less than the human “bark.” It’s what
we humans do when we can’t think of a more articulate
way to express ourselves.
Many prominent theorists have underscored the im-
portance of language skills in helping us humans reflect,

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