Oh Crap! Potty Training

There are many things that contribute to potty fear. You have to
work through this fear, and it may take a fair amount of creativity.
Just as fearing a monster under the bed doesn’t mean you don’t go to
bed, fear of the potty doesn’t mean you put a diaper back on. Also, try
to pin down the fear. Is she afraid of the potty itself or the sensation
of pooping? It helps to know what’s worrying her so you can deal with
it more specifically.
Also, you’ll want to identify whether you’re looking at a case of
true fear or just a little bit of resistance. The child with a true, deep
fear of the potty is rare and should be distinguished from a child who
is showing resistance. In the case of a child with a true fear, the potty
might as well be filled with boiling, molten lava—she wants no part
of it. The truly afraid child is the one who, right from the get-go,
shrieked and hollered and had to be dragged to the potty. Note that a
true fear shows up right from the start of potty training. A child who
starts resisting after using the potty a couple of times isn’t truly afraid.
Many children show resistance to the potty. Fear is something
different. You will recognize it if you see it, but you’re not likely to.
In all my years, of all the kids I’ve worked with, only eleven have
fallen into this category. I hesitate even to mention it because I don’t
want everyone saying, “This is my kid.” I’ll talk more about the truly
fearful child in chapter 17, “Special Circumstances.”
So, are you sensing a theme here? In case you’re too exhausted to
put it together, I’ll spell it out. Nothing is “wrong” the first day of
potty training. Yesterday, your kid could pee and poop whenever,
wherever the urge struck. Now, you aren’t letting him out of your
sight, and he is expected to up and make this huge change. Just
remember that.