Many kids hear you say, “Go pee!” and they do. It always reminds
me of that old movie Parenthood, with Steve Martin. His daughter
feels sick, and he says, “Honey, do you feel like you have to throw
up?” And she says, “Okay” and pukes all over him. Yeaaah. You want
specific, short directions to indicate what they should be doing.
Let’s look at other versions of the peeing through pants.
Sometimes, it’s just that your child hasn’t nailed that first block of
learning. He should be able to pee on the potty when prompted or on
his own naked. If he can’t/won’t do that, you should hold off the
pants. Don’t try to rush pants, and don’t think of wearing pants as a
marker of success. It’s simply the next block of learning. We can’t
stack the “pants block” until we get the “naked block” down. Now
you don’t, of course, want a potty-trained-when-naked kid, so you will
need to nudge the process along. If you are unsure of what to do, try
pants. If the pants get wet, “hand your child success,” as I discussed at
the end of the last chapter.
If you think your child is trying to get to the potty, but just isn’t
making it, keep going. Trying but not making it in time is a really
good sign! If she is wetting through a few pairs of pants but you still
feel pretty hopeful, keep going. I’ve had so many parents echo what
former client Amy said:
“I just wanted to offer hope to those who may be feeling unsuccessful. The first couple
of days resulted in many accidents. My daughter Katherine (twenty-two months)
would start to pee on the floor, stop when I told her to hold it, not pee on the pot,
and then have an accident right afterwards. Day two resulted in nine pairs of pants in
seven hours (and two bare-bottomed accidents, as Kat liked being naked). The thing
that helped me the most after the first couple of days was reading your blog entry
about how parents have to be committed to this and not think that she wasn’t ready
yet and to wait a few more months. This morning I had a renewed resolve that this