the beginning stages, putting a diaper on your child says one thing
and one thing only: “I don’t trust you. I’m telling you all day that I
know you can do it and I have confidence in you. But really, I don’t
trust you.” This is extremely damaging to the whole process. If you
don’t trust your child, she will never trust herself.
Should your child have an accident, don’t punish or berate her.
Have her help you clean it up and reassure her that you know she can
make it to the potty next time. Of course, this is for the occasional
accidents. Severe regressions indicate a big problem that I’ll address
in chapter 17, “Special Circumstances.”
It’s Not “Okay”
This is a sticky point for a lot of parents. You want to make your
child feel comforted and accepted, but you must be sure you are
letting your child know that it’s not okay to pee on the floor. If you
are more than a couple of days into potty training and you are still
ending up with a lot of pee in places besides the potty, this might be
your problem. Many parents don’t want to use any negative language
or create any negative feelings around about the potty. But the reality
is that toddlers only think in black and white; they are incapable of
thinking in shades of gray. It’s up to you to tell them what is right
and wrong. The way you do that with a toddler is through facial
expressions, tone, and words. At some point in the potty training
process, you have to establish that peeing on the floor is bad and
peeing in the potty is good. You must communicate this to your
child. How you choose to do it is your parenting call. If you are using