CHAPTER 10

Poop

All we have done as mothers, fathers, and humans—graduate

school, careers, global travel, making art, making life—all culminate
in us being brought to our knees because our child did or did not poop
in the potty. Had someone told you five years ago that you’d be here
now, you’d probably have laughed out loud. But here it is. Poop. The
begging. The cajoling. The eagle eye for signals. If you have cried
over poop, this chapter is for you.
You are not the first, nor will you be the last, to have poop on the
brain. Poop is an endless topic in potty training—everything from
slight, unconscious withholding, to willful pooping on the floor, to
massive power struggles over requesting a diaper in which to poop. So
poop makes up an entire chapter of this book, and in it, we’re going
to delve into a lot of things: society, philosophy, mythology and, yes,
actual crap. To make sense of poop, you need to think about your
child’s perspective and see this through his eyes. There are a few
things to keep in mind.
First, all your child has ever known is the feeling of poop right up
against his body. Second, as he sees it, no one has ever paid much
attention to this very primal, very private function before today.
Third, pooping while standing up or squatting is far more natural