Oh Crap! Potty Training

relative privacy of the diaper. When things don’t flow that smoothly,
the parents confuse the delay with the child “not being ready.” In
fact, the complete opposite is true: the earlier you potty train, the less
your child is aware of the general need for privacy during this bodily
function. The older child will be very aware and will thus show
increased resistance.
As the cervix does, the anus relaxes in an environment that is
gentle. An environment without a lot of fanfare and words. An
environment that is relaxed, semiprivate, and perhaps filled with
laughter. The more normal and routine you can make pooping for
your child, the more relaxed the anus is going to be. The glaring
spotlight of this whole process can back some kids up (not to the
point of true constipation, but to where they’re not pooping the
normal once or twice a day). That’s totally normal. The analogy to
labor carries through: When you are in labor you want someone sure
and steady by your side. You don’t want someone overtalking logic
and reason. You don’t want someone high-strung. And you certainly
don’t want anyone breathing down your neck to get it done.
Patience, consistency, and understanding are what will make this
normal for your child. I realize providing privacy is hard with a small
child who is just learning a new skill, but there are some ways you can
help. In the very beginning stages of potty training, I suggest you
keep the potty chair wherever your child spends the most time, but
that doesn’t mean it has to be in the middle of the room. The
pooping process can be discreet without being behind closed doors.
You can be by your child’s side but not all up in his business
(Seriously. Do not spread your kid’s butt cheeks to check if the poop
is coming. A hard urge to resist, but resist you must.) A really great