becomes. It becomes harder and harder with passing time to get the
kid to give this up. The resistance and fear actually increase, which is
what leads to epic power struggles.
Not Getting Any Poop at All
This problem has many different forms. The first couple of days, we
can’t really make a call. As I’ve stated many other places in this
book, the first few days are learning. We can’t say for certain what’s
going on until we see a pattern emerge. It’s very common for your
child not to poop on the first or second day of potty training. There’s
a lot of pressure, even from the most chill parents, and there’s some
performance anxiety. This natural pressure is why we want to keep
everything low-key and relaxed. Within this broad category of “no
poops” there are a few variations.
If your child seems be doing fine with peeing and attempting to sit
to try to poop, don’t worry at all about the poop. It will come.
If your child is clearly doing a poop dance—you know they have to
go, they know they have to go, and they sit, pop up, sit pop up, walk
on tiptoes, and the like—it’s okay. Don’t try to rush them. I’ve seen
this dance go on for up to ten hours. Reassure them that poop goes in
the potty. Always use words like “let go,” “slide,” “let it out,”
“drop”—think passive words. For kids, poop usually does tend to slide
out and, in fact, they are doing much more work by holding it.
Remind them that they can use either the little pot or the toilet
insert. Some kids have a clear preference. Offer to read to them or
just sit with them. Remember this is a new sensation. It can be freaky