Oh Crap! Potty Training

dancing around, but in the end, it’s worth the struggle.
A lot of parents feel like they are traumatizing the child by taking
the diapers away—they’re not. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve had
clients whose kids were kicked out of kindergarten for not being
properly trained. They had to poop while at school and could only
poop in a diaper they requested. They were asked to leave. That, to
me, is truly traumatizing. Avoiding that trauma is worth a weekend
of struggle.
Most often, poop is the problem for this child, not pee. A good
approach is to give a mild stool softener and say, “We are not using
any diapers anymore. You should poop during the day on the potty,
like Mommy and Daddy do.”
This child is almost always older and quite articulate. No matter
what, you should ask your child what she thinks the problem is. I’ve
heard kids say wild things: “There’s a shark Transformer in the toilet
bowl, and if I poop he’s gonna come eat my butt” is just one example.
It’s good to find out what your child is thinking. Even if it seems
absurd to you, it is totally valid to your child. You may simply have to
reassure your child that nothing bad is going to happen if they poop
or pee in the toilet.
Make sure you’re not pressuring your child. This problem will not
be solved by any amount of begging, bargaining, asking, or logic. You
also want to check in with your poop values. Remember those? Your
“poop values” are how you feel about pooping. If you’re sending the
message that pooping is the most disgusting thing on the planet, your
child probably will have an issue with poop.
Bottom line, make the “new way” (no diapers) an absolute,
regardless of the emotional fallout. I often take this out of the potty