Oh Crap! Potty Training

result of which is that he has decided not to play along with you. It
could have been anything, big or small. I wouldn’t waste too much
time going over what you may or may not have done. The most
important thing to remember is that kids age three and up are fully
capable of understanding all aspects of potty training. He isn’t saying no
because of mixed messages or confusion. He is saying no to piss you
off and/or assert his will. This situation requires immediate action,
because this child is cutting off his nose to spite his face—just to
prove he can.
With the “child from hell,” you have a true power struggle. He
knows where pee and poop go. He is aware of the feeling of having to
go. He is aware of the frustration and drama he is creating.
Consequently, it’s time for you to be a little hard-core. This child
needs no coddling, praise, or other accolades around potty training.
Basically, he’s saying “F**k you.”
It’s wise to keep in mind that this situation (or, the resultant
power struggle) is rarely about potty training. This is about who is
running your house. And I bet if you’ve gotten to this point, it’s not
you who’s running the show. I’m not saying that to cast blame or
judgment. Our kids are constantly walking this line, and we can lose
control without even realizing it.
If this sounds like your situation, first, take a deep breath and be
kind to yourself. This happens sometimes, and the idea is to fix it,
not ruminate on how it got that way. On the other hand, I’m going to
be hard-core with you. Things have to change now, for reasons of
dignity. Your child is too smart and too old to be using a diaper,
period. And if your child is using this as a method of being
disrespectful to you in any way, you want to change that now!