CHAPTER 17

Special Circumstances

Extreme Fear of the Potty

As I mentioned in chapter 7, “Block One Drama,” and chapter 8,

“Block Two and Three Dilemmas,” you may have a child who shows
extreme fear of the potty. This child is rare. I’ve had only eleven of
them in all my years of doing this. But they do exist.
First, you need to ascertain that this truly is fear—not resistance
and not the usual minor fear a child will show at doing something
new. One mom equated the appearance of “true fear” with that of a
cat being stuffed into a small bucket of water. If your child looks
something like that, the fear is real, and it’s there from the get-go.
Most often it appears that these kids are afraid of the actual potty,
but it could also be the sensation of releasing the pee/poop or both.
Sometimes it’s unclear which of these two (or both) is the culprit.
There’s no talking to this child, and this isn’t behavior.
The number one thing to remember is that this child will be able
to learn nothing as long as she’s in this place of fear, so don’t even
bother. If it looks like you have a truly fearful child (and you will
know for sure within a couple of days), then I want you to approach
potty training differently. You are going to go about it much slower