Oh Crap! Potty Training

and, contrary to all I’ve said elsewhere in the book, you’re going to
take a casual approach.
Casual potty training is possible. What happens in most cases,
though, is that the diapers sort of take over, and pretty soon you’re
not doing any sort of potty training. If your child is deeply fearful, you
have to go slower, but you will still be potty training. First, though,
we must get past the fear.
You will keep the potty chair out, preferably in the bathroom, and
it should be something like the BabyBjörn chair. I’d prefer it not be
one that can be used as a step stool or could be mistaken for anything
but a potty chair. Take your child with you as often as possible when
you go. She can sit on it, with pants on, if she will. You can casually
ask her if she wants to use it. Asking is okay with this child. You
actually do need her permission. This is the rare instance of a child
who does need to get used the potty chair. You can try to get her to
pee on it before a bath or when she’s getting dressed in the morning.
You will move slowly. If she says no, you should say, “Okay. Maybe
tomorrow.” Keep at it, not like a pit bull but with steady strokes.
Now, I’ve had only eleven kids to work through this with, so I
can’t claim to be a full-blown expert on the this kind of fear. But
moving steadily at the child’s pace worked perfectly for those eleven.
All took around two months of steady work, and then they were potty
trained. I would venture to say that if the fear persists and you see no
forward movement, look to see if there is another source of anxiety.
More and more children are getting anxiety disorder diagnoses. If you
feel your child is overly anxious, you should seek help. I’m not trying
to freak you out, but early intervention is by far the best cure. As I