soon. I have never seen an adopted child have any problems with
potty training, so I wouldn’t give it any thought except to say not to
rush it. If you adopted your child at a very young age, you can proceed
with training as I’ve described with no problem.
When I first met Mona, she had just adopted her son who was
twenty months old. He was very bright and seemed very capable and
ready to potty train. We both suspected potty training had already
been started in his native country. He didn’t click and after a few
days started to show fear around the potty. We both decided that,
given the huge transition he’d just been through, it would be best to
go about training as I described in “Extreme Fear” on page 229.
Within a month, he was potty trained. Mona was thrilled because
even though it took longer than she originally hoped, it was still
pretty awesome to have him trained. It’s almost the nature of
adoption that your child, upon coming home to you, his mom, is
coming to a much better place. Regardless, this is still a major
transition, as is potty training. Go with your gut and your motherly
intuition.
Emotional and Developmental Delays
If your child has been diagnosed with emotional or developmental
delays, then potty training could be delayed. I say “diagnosed” because
every child develops differently, and while you may think something
is up, it doesn’t have to mean she’s delayed. I know kids who haven’t
said a word until they were three and then busted out with full
conversations. I sometimes see parents use this as an excuse: “Well,