Oh Crap! Potty Training

What’s also happened, as I talked about in chapter 1, is that we have
somehow come to think that children can make their own decisions
regarding what’s best for them long term.
Now, you may find yourself bristling against me here, and that’s
okay. But I want to reiterate the point that every child needs to be
nudged to learn new things. We are humans, and humans like to be
good at what we attempt. Psychologists have found that blindly
praising a child can actually limit them into doing only that at which
they excel. We don’t like to suck at things. As a result, humans—all
humans, little or big—will stick to the status quo, simply because
learning something means temporarily sucking at it.
We as parents are responsible for teaching our children and
nudging them along in their learning. And check this out: if
everything is hunky-dory in your kid’s life, what motivation does he
have to change? Why would potty training be preferable to diaper
wearing? Think about that from the child’s perspective. To him,
there’s no benefit. You are currently doing all the work. He doesn’t
need to think or stop what he’s doing. You clean up the mess. The
status quo is pretty darn good for him, so why change? The nudge to
change comes from you, because—much like anything that requires
learning and practice—we know he’ll be better off for it on the other
side.
Regardless of your parenting philosophy, I understand not wanting
to push your child. However, nudging things along is NOT pushing.
Pushing doesn’t have to be abusive. Pushing can be you, the parent,
following through when your child might not want to. Piano practice
and homework are two big things we, as parents, have to push. And