Oh Crap! Potty Training

off your child. If you want, you can make a show of throwing the rest
of the diapers away, or you can simply say, “Today, you are going to
be a big girl and put your pee and poop in the potty. I’m going to
teach you and help you learn this. Yay! It’s very fun.” You don’t have
to use those exact words, but you want to state what’s happening very
clearly, and you want to sound like it’s cool. Think of how you would
say, “Today, we’re going to the dentist,” and try to hit the same tone.
You want to sound cool and casual, and avoid any hint that you
anticipate drama. Clear. Succinct. Direct. Don’t ask her opinion
about this. Don’t ask, “Okay?” In fact, don’t ask anything. We don’t
want to give her the opportunity to say no.
You will be home all day today. Your child will be naked all day.
Now, many people tell me that their child hates to be naked. Be that
as it may, you really do need to have your child bottomless, at the
very least. Much of the day is going to consist of you catching your
child midpee and getting him to the potty. If he has any covering on
his bum, by the time you see the pee, it will be too late—his bladder
will have emptied. The other benefit to keeping your child naked
today is that you will be more likely to see her signals when she is
naked. Every kid gives some sort of signal right before she pees. It
may be very subtle, but it’s there.
I suggest extra fluids today. Usually a couple of juice boxes will do
the trick. I’m not a fan of juice boxes, but they’re great for this first
block of learning. You can also have melon, other fruits, and ice pops.
These all count as fluids.
If your child is younger than twenty-four months, you should not push
extra fluids. I have no idea why, but kids under twenty-four months