Chapter 11 page 248
class rules (e.g., “we listen to others because they have important ideas worth thinking about”), and why
common procedures are used (e.g., “students help hand back homework so that we maximize time for
learning in class”).
Figure 11.5: A Program of Conflict Resolution
The program and the examples are from Johnson & Johnson (1995; 2006, p. 819).
Phase 1. Understand the conflict
Students learn to recognize when a conflict is occurring. They also learn that conflicts
can be constructive ways to reach compromises or to negotiate better solutions.
Phase 2. Choose an appropriate conflict strategy
Once students recognize that they are in a conflict, they decide which strategy to
pursue. Two strategies that do not require anyone to “lose” are finding a quick
compromise and negotiating. Negotiating requires more work, if that strategy is
chosen (see Phase 3).
Phase 3. Negotiating to solve the problem
Students work together to forge an agreement that is a “win” for everyone. The steps
each student follows are:
- Describing what you want. “I want the book now.”
- Describing how you feel. “I’m frustrated.”
- Describing the reasons for your wants and feelings. “You have been using the book
for the past hour. If I don’t get to use the book soon, my report will not be done on
time. It’s frustrating to have to wait so long.” (This is an I-message.) - Taking the other’s perspective and summarizing your understanding of what the
other person wants, how the other person feels, and the reasons underlying both.
“I understand that you want the book, too, because you need to finish your report
and cannot finish the report without the book.” - Inventing three optional plans to resolve the conflict in ways that maximize joint
benefits. “One option is that we read it together.... A second option is ....” - Choosing one option and formalizing the agreement with a handshake. “We
decided to take turns every 15 minutes. That way while one is reading, the other is
writing the report, and then we take turns.”
(Examples are from Johnson & Johnson, 2006, p. 819).