discuss feelings or problems. Some meetings are speaker meetings, where one person gets up in front of everyone and
talks about a Step or an experience. At some groups, the Steps are the theme and the people just put their chairs in a
circle and each person gets a chance to say something about whatever Step is the theme that day. There are many
meeting variations, but usually the meetings have something to do with the Steps, the Traditions, or topics related to the
problem. People learn about the Steps at the meetings, and they learn what the Steps mean to other people. They also hear
slogans. Al-Anon and A.A. slogans include such catchy little sayings as: Let Go and Let God, Easy Does It, and One Day
at a Time. The reason these sayings have become slogans is because they are true. And even if people get sick of saying
and hearing these slogans, they keep repeating and listening to them because they are so true. And the slogans help
people feel better. After the meeting is over, people usually stay and chat or go out to a restaurant and have a soda or
coffee. Learning the Steps and
page_192Page 193slogans, listening to other people's experiences, sharing personal experiences, and fellowship, are parts of working the
program.
At the meetings, books, pamphlets, and literature are sold at cost. These books contain information on the problems
common to that group. Some groups sell meditation books which contain suggestions for approaching each day. Reading
the literature and reading the daily meditation books are parts of working the program. People have something to take
home and do through the literature. They are reminded of what they learned at the meeting, and sometimes they learn
new things.
During their daily routines, the people who go to these meetings think about the Steps and slogans. They try to figure out
how the Steps and slogans apply to them, what they're feeling, what they're doing, and what's going on in their lives at
that particular time. They do this regularly and when a problem arises. Sometimes, they call someone they met at the
meeting and discuss a problem with that person or tell that person how they're doing that day. Sometimes, these people
do the things a Step suggests they do, such as write out an inventory, make a list of people they have harmed, or make an
appropriate amend. If these people think about and work these Steps enough, eventually the Twelve Steps may become
habitshabitual ways of thinking, behaving, and handling situationsmuch the same as codependent characteristics become
habits. When they become habits, the program becomes a way of life. This is called working the Steps and working the
program.
That's all there is to working a program. Twelve Step programs are simple and basic. People don't graduate and go on to
more complicated thingsthey stick with the basics. Twelve Step programs work because they are simple and basic.
I get excited about such simple things as going to meetings and working the Steps. I can try to explain, but words only
convey a little bit of the important idea here. Something happens if we go to these meetings and work a program. A
peace and a healing sets in. We start to change and feel better. The Steps are something we work on, but they also work
on us. There is magic at these meetings.
page_193Page 194We never have to do anything we are unable to do, truly find offensive, or don't want to do. When it is time to do or
change a certain thing, we will know it is time and we will want to do it. There will be a rightness and an appropriateness
to it. Our lives begin to work this way, too. Healinggrowthbecomes a natural process. The Twelve Steps capture and are a
formula for man's natural healing process. 3 Upon reading them, we may not think the Steps look like much and certainly
not like enough to get as excited as I am about them, but when we work them something happens. They appear. Their
power appears. We may not understand until it happens to us.
The best description of the Twelve Steps I have heard was the "invisible boat" story, told by a man at a meeting I
attended recently. He was talking about A.A., but his story applies to Al-Anon and other groups. I have changed some of
his words so his idea fits Al-Anon, but here is the essence of his analogy:
Picture ourselves standing on the shore. Way across the water is an island called serenity, where peace, happiness,
and freedom exist from the despair of alcoholism and other problems. We really want to get to that island, but