Are you drinking heavily or using sleeping pills or tranquilizers?
Do you bribe with food?
Do you talk about the eater's body to him or her or to others?
page_200Page 201Do you feel life will be perfect if the over/undereater shapes up?
Are you grateful you aren't "that bad"?
Does his or her eating disorder give you license to run away?
Does his or her eating disorder give you an excuse to stay?
Do you "subtly" leave "helpful" literature around the house?
Do you read diet books though you have no weight problem?
Do you think you have the perfect home, except for the over/ undereater?
Do you use pills to get to sleep and escape worry?
Have you spent much time in your own therapy talking about the over/ undereater?
page_201Page 202Progression of a Codependent Personality
This is also from Fat Is a Family Affair. It is meant to be used as a checklist to monitor your own progression.
Early Stages
_____Often born of dysfunctional family and learned to "care" for others as measure of self-worth.
_____Failed to cure parents so will "cure" the over/undereater.
_____Finds over/undereater who is "needy" so controls.
_____Begins doubting own perceptions and wants to control eating to show decisiveness.
_____Social life affected. Isolated self from community to "help" over/undereater.
Obsession
_____Makes pleas and threats related to the eating behavior.
_____Judges self and feels the cause of eating/starving.
_____Hides food.
_____Attempts controlling eating, hiding food, idle threats, nagging scolding.
_____Shows anger and disappointment regarding the over/undereater's promises.
Secret Life
_____Becomes obsessed with watching and covering up.