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they need. Taking care of ourselves means taking care of our bodies and grooming. Make both a daily practice.

Taking care of our emotional selves is also connected to our bodies. The more we take care of our emotional selvesthe
more we get our needs metthe less we find ourselves sick. If we refuse long enough to take care of ourselves, our bodies
will rebel and become sick, forcing us and the people around us to give us the caretaking we need. It's easier to take care
of ourselves before we get sick.

Professional Help

We need to seek professional help if:

· We are depressed and thinking about suicide.

· We want to do an intervention and confront an alcoholic or other troubled person.

· We have been the victim of physical or sexual abuse.

· We have been physically or sexually abusing somebody else.

· We are experiencing problems with alcohol or other drugs.

· We can't seem to solve our problems or get "unstuck" by ourselves.

· For any other reason, we believe we might benefit from professional help.

We can remember to trust ourselves when we go to professionals and pay attention to our feelings. If we are not
comfortable with the agency or person we're working with, if we don't agree with the direction the counseling is taking,
or if we in any way don't trust the help we are receiving or not receiving, find another professional. We may be
experiencing a normal resistance to change, but it could be the person we're working with is not right for us. Not all
professionals are able to work well with codependency, compulsive disorders, or chemical dependency.

One woman sought help from a private therapist because her daughter's chemical dependency and behavioral problems
were disrupting the family. The therapist pulled the whole family into counseling, then began devoting most of the
session time to trying to convince the parents that

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the reason the daughter was misbehaving was because the parents smoked cigarettes. The therapist had a prejudice
against smoking. The goal of therapy switched from "daughter behaving" to "Mom and Dad stopping smoking." The
parents were a little baffled and not entirely comfortable with the setup, but they were desperate for help. And they
assumed the therapist knew more than they did. After spending three months and $50 a week on this nonsense, the
parents finally realized they were going nowhere and the trip was costing them a lot of money. I'm not saying it's not
good to stop smokingbut it was not the problem this family sought help for.

If we seek help and it doesn't seem right for us, seek different help. If we honestly make an effort to try something and it
doesn't work, try something else. We don't have to give up our power to think, feel, and make good decisions to
anyoneincluding someone with a Ph.D. after his or her name.

We can get ourselves the best care possible.

Strokes

I'm not talking about heart problems; strokes is a Transactional Analysis term that caught on in therapy circles years ago.
Most of us need people. Most of us have at least a few relationships. When we are with these people, we can either