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Once we have gotten started, moving forward will become a natural process, if we continue to move. Sometimes, we will
take a few steps backward. That's okay too. Sometimes it's necessary. Sometimes it's part of going forward.

Some of us may be facing tough decisions, decisions about ending relationships that are miserable and destructive.
According to Earnie Larsen, if the relationship is dead, bury it. We can take our time, work on ourselves, and we will be
able to make the right decision when the time is right.

Some of us may be trying to repair damaged but still alive relationships. Be patient. Love and trust are fragile, living
entities. They do not automatically regenerate upon command if they have been bruised. Love and trust do not
automatically reappear if the other person gets sober or solves whatever problem he or she had. 3 Love and trust must be
allowed to heal in their own time. Sometimes they heal; sometimes they don't.

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Some of us may be without a special person to love. That can be difficult, but it is not an impossible situation. We may
want and need someone to love, but I think it helps if we love ourselves enough. It's okay to be in a relationship, but it's
also okay to not be in a relationship. Find friends to love, be loved by, and who think we are worthwhile. Love ourselves
and know we are worthwhile. Use our time alone as a breather. Let go. Learn the lessons we are to be learning. Grow.
Develop. Work on ourselves, so when love comes along, it enhances a full and interesting life. Love shouldn't be the
concern of our whole life or an escape from an unpleasant life. Strive toward goals. Have fun. Trust God and His timing.
He cares and knows about all our needs and wants.

Whatever our situation, we can go slowly. Our hearts may lead us where our heads say we shouldn't go. Our heads may
insist we go where our hearts don't want to follow. Sometimes our attraction to frogs may take us where neither our
hearts nor heads choose to be. That's okay. There are no rules about whom we should or shouldn't love and relate to. We
can love whomever we love, however we want to. But slow down and take the time to do it in a way that doesn't hurt us.
Pay attention to what's happening. Love from our strengths, not from our weaknesses, and ask others to do the same.
Make good decisions each day about what we need to do to take care of ourselves. Between our Higher Power and
ourselves, we will be able to figure out what to do. I hope we will find people we enjoy lovingpeople who enjoy loving
us and challenge us to grow. I hope we find enjoyable work that challenges us to grow.

A word of caution. From time to time, we may lose our balance. We may start running, skipping, and jumping, then
suddenly find ourselves with our noses on the cement. All the old crazy feelings come rushing in. Don't be frightened.
This is normal. Codependent characteristics, ways of thinking, and feelings become habits. Those habitual feelings and
thoughts may surface on occasion. Change (even good change), certain circumstances reminiscent of alcoholic insanity,
and stress, may provoke codependency. Sometimes the craziness returns unprovoked. See it through. Don't be ashamed
and don't hide. We can pick ourselves up again. We will get through it. Talk to trusted friends; be patient and

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gentle with ourselves. Just keep doing the things we know we need to do. It will get better. Don't stop taking care of us
no matter what happens.

Getting our balance and keeping it once we have found it is what recovery is all about. If that sounds like a big order,
don't worry. We can do it. We can learn to live again. We can learn to love again. We can even learn to have fun at the
same time.

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EPILOGUE