Above all else, be who we are and say what we need to say.
In love and dignity, speak the truthas we think, feel, and know itand it shall set us free.
Activity
- Read these books: Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? by John Powell, and How to Be an Assertive (Not
Aggressive) Woman in Life, in Love, and on the Job, by Jean Baer. How to Be an Assertive Woman is an excellent
book for men, too.
page_184Page 18518
Work a Twelve Step Program
''How do the Twelve Steps work?"
"They work just fine, thank you."
Anonymous AA./Al-Anon quote
I detest the disease of alcoholism. Chemical dependency and other compulsive disorders destroy peoplebeautiful,
intelligent, sensitive, creative, loving, caring people who do not deserve to be destroyed. The illnesses kill love and
dreams, hurt children, and tear apart families. Alcoholism leaves in its wake sheared, fragmented, bewildered victims.
Sometimes the early death it brings to the drinker causes far less pain than the wretched illness caused during his or her
lifetime. It is a horrid, cunning, baffling, powerful, and deadly disease.
I unabashedly love Twelve Step programs. I have great respect for all of them: Alcoholics Anonymous, for people with a
desire to stop drinking; Al-Anon, for people affected by someone else's drinking; Alateen, for teenagers affected by
someone's drinking; Al-Atots, for children affected by someone's drinking; and Narcotics Anonymous, for people
addicted to drugs.
Other Twelve Step programs that I respect include: Nar-Anon, for people affected by another's chemical addiction;
Overeaters Anonymous, for people with eating disorders; O-Anon, for people affected by others' eating disorders;
Families Anonymous, for people concerned about the use of chemicals and/or related behavioral problems in a relative or
friend; Adult Children of Alcoholics, for adult children of alcoholics;
page_185Page 186Emotions Anonymous, for people with a desire to become well emotionally.
Other good Twelve Step programs include: Sex Addicts Anonymous, for people with compulsive sexual behavior; Co-
SA, for people affected by another person's sexual addiction; Gamblers Anonymous, for people with a desire to stop
gambling; Gam-Anon, for people affected by another person's gambling; Parents Anonymous, for parents who are
abusive, neglectful, or afraid of becoming so, or for adolescents who are encountering problems due to past or current
abuse; and Sex Abusers Anonymous. There may also be other programs which I have either overlooked or which have
sprung into origin since the writing of this book.
Twelve Step programs are not merely self-help groups that help people with compulsive disorders stop doing whatever it
is they feel compelled to do (drinking, helping the drinker, etc.). The programs teach people how to livepeacefully,
happily, successfully. They bring peace. They promote healing. They give life to their membersfrequently a richer,
healthier life than those people knew before they developed whatever problem they developed. The Twelve Steps are a
way of life.
In this chapter I am going to focus on the programs for people who have been affected by another person's compulsive