worse than mine, helped me come to believe. There is no substitute for visualization. As someone once said, seeing is
believing.
And, yes, this is a spiritual program. Thank God we aren't left to our own devices any longer. This is not a do-it-yourself
program. This is not a do-it-yourself book. Do it yourself at your own risk. We are spiritual beings. We need a spiritual
program. This program meets our spiritual needs. We are not talking about religion here; the word I used was spiritual.
We select and come to terms with a Power greater than ourselves.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I had turned my will
and my life over to the care of alcohol and other drugs; I had turned my will and life over to the care of other human
beings (usually alcoholics); I had spent many years trying to impose my own plan onto the scheme of things. It was time
to remove myself from anyone or anything's control (including my own) and place myself in the hands of an
extraordinarily loving God. "Take it," I said,
page_188Page 189"All of itwho I am, what's happened to me, where I shall go, and how I'll get there." I said it once. I say it every day.
Sometimes, I say it every half hour. This Step does not mean we resign ourselves to a bunch of shoulds and ought tos,
and don our sackcloth. It in no way implies a continuation of martyrdom. The exciting thing about this Step is it means
there is a purpose and a plana great, perfectly wonderful, usually enjoyable, and worthwhile plan that takes into account
our needs, wants, desires, abilities, talents, and feelingsfor each of our lives. This was good news to me. I thought I was a
mistake. I didn't think there was anything of significance planned for my life. I was just stumbling around, trying to make
the best out of being here when I learned this: We are here to live as long as we are alive, and there is a life for each of
us to live.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. We take our eyes off the other person and look at
ourselves. We see just what we're working with, how we have been affected, what we are doing, what our characteristics
are, and we write on a piece of paper what we see. We look fearlessly, not in self-hate and self-castigation, but in an
attitude of love, honesty, and self-care. We may even discover that hating ourselves, not loving ourselves enough, has
been a real moral problem. We root out any other problems, including earned guilt. We also look at our good qualities.
We examine our hurts and angers. We examine ourselves and the part we have played in our lives. This Step also gives
us an opportunity to examine the standards we judge ourselves by, choose those we believe to be appropriate, and
disregard the rest. We are now on our way to dumping our earned guilt, getting rid of our unearned guilt, accepting the
package we call ourselves, and starting on the path to growth and change. - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Confession is good for the
soul. There is nothing like it. We don't have to hide any longer. We tell our worst, most shameful secrets to a trusted
person skilled in listening to the Fifth Step. We tell someone how hurt and angry we are. Someone listens. Someone
cares. We are forgiven. Wounds begin to heal. We forgive. This Step is liberating.
page_189Page 190- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. We realize some of the things we've been
doing to protect ourselves have been hurting us and possibly others. We decide we're ready to take a risk, and let go of
these outdated behaviors and attitudes. We become willing to be changed and to cooperate in the process of change. I
use this and the next Step as daily tools to rid myself of any defects that come to my attention. I consider my low self-
worth a defect, and I use this Step on it too. - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. From my experience, humbly seems to be the key here.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Willingness is the important
word here, although I suspect it's directly connected to humility. Don't forget to put ourselves on the list. Note that, as
Jael Greenleaf writes: "The Eighth Step does not read 'Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to
feel guilty about it.' " 2 This is our chance to take care of our earned guilt. This is an important Step in a tool that will be
available to us all our lives so we no longer have to feel guilty.